Friday, February 18, 2011

Help!!!!!! Save me from this quilt!!!

Bet you thought I'd fell into the bayou and been eaten by gators! Not quite, but it feels like it sometimes. I will have to provide you with vivid word pictures sine my computer is in the shop still and I can't send pictures out.  I am not saying I am a difficult case, but since I brought it in, the service manager and the tech have quit.  Hmmm.

So here is my story for you. I have been working on my Warm/Cold blocks. They are marvelous things of color, fabric and bright-fullness. I had planned to make them into huge drops of hearty rains on a white background ( you know how I am enamored of those white backgrounds). But somewhere between there and here I decided to make a glorious cascading quilt rainbow of colors.

I spent a whole night putting them on the design wall, trading out one for another. Adding bits of color here and there to enhance a shade of loveliness. It was pure heaven!

Then the fateful idea burst into my head like head lice on a loupe garou. (That is a Cajun werewolf for you Northerners). I suddenly wanted my blocks to course diagonally down/across my quilt. I thought to impress all of you with my fearless originality so you would elevate me closer to the quilting goddesses' light.

So I rearranged all of them to be diagonally wrought.

But that was not good enough. The bias on this quilt was killing me. So I decided to go back to the straight set and to......get this......trim off one corner and add it to the other side.  Brilliant!!!!  I am so smug about my intelligence level here.  What do they say, pride goeth before the big plunge downward into the depths of the big chasm.

Well. I put it on my bed. Trued up the slice and proceeded to make the cut with surgical precision. Right through my underlying bedspread. Now I have incentive to finish that Patch No Work top for my bedroom.

And, worse yet, no amount of cutting and slicing and trimming and cajoling would make the piece I cut off fit back on to the other side. I decided that it only worked in fairy tales.

By now there was no semblance of a rainbow left. I thought now to just make squares. So I set upon the quilt with a renewed sense of determination the next day. I was in Day Four by now. I sewed and sewed and sewed all day long. But now the Wonky Bias Fairy was looking at me as her plaything; twisting and stretching my squares into odd shaped unrecognizable pieces.

On Day Five I knew what must be done. I dug out my black fabric and began to straighten the sides of my unintentionally wonky squares and FORCE them to obey. Into Day Six I struggled and cursed the malevolent beings that inhabited that quilt. But with each row upon difficult row I was beginning to tame the Bias Demons.

It is done,now. I have fought the good fight and reined in the wonky sides and...while not making them totally square....they are at least playing nicely with each other.

And you, my dears, will have to wait until next week for a real picture!

But I can tell you, it is beautiful!!!!

Glen:  I sure hope to have my computer back soon............aughhhhh


Jan Maree said...

Oh My Goodness - love the story but boy oh boy do I want to see photos!!!!! Happy stitching and please keep sharing!

Victoria Findlay Wolfe said...

You can sure spin a good yarn!!! Can't wait to see!!! Sounds like a great adventure!!!

Miki Willa said...

You are such a great story teller. I loved reading about your adventure with this quilt. Can't wait to see it.

CharlotteP said...

Oh...I know just how you feel...and you did make me laugh!! Maybe you should write a quilter's novel (with added dogs)?!

Chris said...

You are hilarious! And if the quilt is half as good as your telling of the ARE a quilt goddess! :)

Nathalie said...

I agree with Charlotte that you should write a quilter's novel. I loved your story, it made me laugh and I can't wait for the next installation with or without pictures. (The pictures would just make it more real, but your word pictures are in my head for now)

Nifty Quilts said...

You are a great story teller. You've got me "in stitches." No, truly, I'm laughing out loud. (LOL) Can't wait to see it!

Alexis said...

Fabulous story, can't wait to see the quilt that goes with it! Good luck with your computer!

Sandy Panagos said...

I hope you print out your stories and save them with photos of your quilts. What a treasure it was to read your delightful tale this morning! And, I too, cannot wait to see this quilt! Thanks for sharing.