Thursday, July 7, 2011

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire

My pants are afire! 

I hit a 99 cent sale at the Purple Cow two days ago.  I bought a size 34 dress of lovely blue cotton.  This is my 24 inch ruler laying on the dress, look at the fabric in there.  And it looks practically new! 

While there, I decided I needed a blue jean quilt.  Since I may just one day spontaneously drop 30 lbs and fit into my stash of blue jeans, I couldn't possibly cut MINE up.  So I bought 7 pairs for $6.93. 

This project has taken off with a vengeance! I got my blue jeans cut into 4 inch strips with no regard to the length of the block. I piled them high and retrieved them every time DiNozzo took them down to inspect.

Then yesterday I sewed them together in long long long strips. I kept envisioning a red, white and grey shirting between the rows. And I liked it. But I kept thinking that the weight of the fabric shirts would be far too light for the heavier denim panting. I guess that is a word. Shirting is what shirts are made from. Panting just follows, right?

Look at how wonderful the pocket areas look in the mix. I love this quilt.

Frank always wears dockers and a button down shirt. Always. He buys them years in advance of needing them so he always has a good supply in case the world runs out of dockers. And this morning he brings me a pair that has seen better days. the bottom of the pant leg was frayed. He said can you do anything with these?

I was ecstatic! He has been coming along in his interest of my quilting. He will now look mildly interested when I order new fabric and show it to him. I thought it was wonderful he had taken the next step and was FINDING me material! Wow, wait till I tell the girls down at the guild tonight!

So I go into the kitchen where I have been cutting up all the blue jeans and proceed to dissect these wonderful pants. I cut them into long 4 inch strips and carefully intersperse them in the blue jean strips. Oh, my they look wonderful. (That blue and yellow check is a piece of that rug canvas that was painted and given as First Place prizes in the Greater Swiss Mountain Dog Club Regional Specialty one year.)

Frank walks in, I show him the improvements and he is excited about the new improved look, which I know he was faking. But I am still impressed that he has evolved this far for me.

He is walking around in his skivvies, something really unusual for my formal conservative husband. Going from room to room wandering aimlessly. He constantly looks for his keys and phone and wallet. I smile wondering which one he is looking for now.
As he wanders in to the kitchen, he drops the bombshell: where are the pants I handed you to fix?

Fix? I say. Realization hitting me that he was not quite ready to give up those pants just yet. I fixed them, I say -- spreading my hands out in a Vanna White wave toward the strips on the floor.
His face looks like that guy on the phone commercial where the girl jumps up and screams at the spider ap on his screen and the other guy beats his phone with the shoe. Yep, just like that.

glen

17 comments:

beth said...

Oooh Glen! You tell a GOOD story! LOL!

Char said...

Great story. I can't wait to show this to my husband who has a pile of jeans as tall as me and a pile of Dockers almost as high!

Stevii said...

Drats...I just spewed coffee all over my new computer!

bettyp said...

Hahahahah!!!!! Thats sooo funny!!! I really did laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa said...

Hahaha! I love it! That is a great story.

Deb said...

GREAT STORY!! I have a husband EXACTLY like that and I'm afraid to admit it, but that could have happened at my house (and, I suspect...quilter houses across America)!!

Deb from clutteredquilter.blogspot.com

Miki Willa said...

Thank you for a great laugh. I love where this quilt is going.

Victoria @ BUMBLE BEANS said...

I just bought my husband a new shirt yesterday... If he doesn't like it, it will be cut up for a quilt... (fingers crossed!!!) haha!! Great story glen!!!!
Btw, my hubby knows if he needs something mended he may never see it again.... Lol!!!

beebee said...

Great story, I can not stop laughing.

Nina Lise Moen said...

Lol, thank you, I needed that!!!

Chris said...

Glen, your stories are the BEST!!! I'm sure, if you need more Dockers, there are MANY of us (me) who could send you a pair. or two, or more! lol - and who but you, the dog lover, would call denim "panting"?

Helen said...

Hysterical story....wonderful colors! I can see that mending is not your priority, nor mine!

CharlotteP said...

Hmmm...I have a pair of pale grey summer trousers that Dave wants mended...but Mary wants used clothing for her bee blocks...!

Terry said...

I love a good story and a woman who has her priorities right.

JoAnne said...

I can't stop laughing! "Can you do something with these?" Of course you can! Good luck with your quilt

Quilting Yai Yai said...

Priceless! ROFLMAO!!!
Deborah

Nathalie said...

I have tears streaming down my face I have laughed so hard. I needed a good laugh. Thank you.